5 Questions That Parents Should Ask At The IEP Table
By Heather Wright, M.Ed. | With personal reflections from Dr. Nikki Sammet
My Story: Walking Into the IEP World as a Parent
My son was 3 when we first went through the IEP process. Being a kid who had a 504 growing up, I thought I had a pretty good understanding of what these meetings looked like… but looking back, I was never actually in the meetings.
On the day of his evaluation, we went to his home school where he was assessed by several different professionals. After three hours, we were finally able to leave.
It was hard sitting there screaming in my head, “He can do that!!” when he wasn’t showing it at the moment. It was even harder filling out assessments and checking the box “No” for milestones he had not yet completed.
Jake’s first IEP took place a little over a year after his 2nd birthday. By that point, he had already been in ABA therapy for a year, and we thought going to school a few days a week would help with social skills, school readiness, and group-based learning. Unfortunately, our experience with that school only lasted seven months due to a poor fit with the teacher. It was truly a terrible first experience in public school.
I didn’t expect Jake to return to public school. We always assumed he’d go private. But through the school choice program, we were accepted into a school with a fabulous special education team. So, at 5½, we decided to begin kindergarten there.
Jake plans on entering kindergarten with his old IEP. But it’s one that is filled with accommodations and supports that no longer matched who he is. After a few weeks, his new team plans to amend the IEP to better reflect his current needs.
This process is a lot. It’s confusing. You don’t always know what kind of accommodations will be allowed, and it often feels like there’s red tape everywhere.
I know my story isn’t unique so many parents feel the same mix of emotions at the IEP table. That’s why I decided to collaborate with Heather Wright on this post. Heather brings years of experience guiding families, and the five questions she shares below are the exact tools every parent should have in their back pocket.
Heather’s Guidance: 5 Questions Every Parent Can Ask
(Words below are directly from Heather Wright, M.Ed.)
Whether it is your first time at an IEP meeting, or you are a veteran at the IEP table, it can be overwhelming, stressful, and anxiety causing. There are so many items running through your head, and they can be hard to understand, or you are just not sure how to discuss them.
Most IEP meetings have multiple people in attendance; many of which you don’t know. Each person speaks about your child and will ask if you agree or if you understand. You nod your head, but do you really know what you agreed to, or do you fully understand? This can be a hard place to be in. You aren’t sure of how to ask the questions you have or if what you are worried about will make you sound silly.
When I was a teacher, at the IEP table, I wish I would have done a better job at giving my families advice on how to make an IEP meeting less stressful. Now that I know better, I do better. My advice to you, start preparing for your child’s IEP sooner than later. Keep a journal of your concerns and worries. Write down questions that you have for the school team. When it comes time for the meeting, bring this journal with you and be sure to take notes during the meeting.
Is your mind still racing? Not sure where to start? Well let me help you. Here are my top 5 questions that can be asked at the IEP table:
How will progress on goals/objectives be measured?
At the IEP meeting, each service provider will discuss your child’s unique needs. They will discuss strengths and weaknesses and propose goals/objectives that will support these weaknesses. It is important for you to know how often data will be collected and when progress will be shared with you. It can be every 4.5 weeks, every 9 weeks, or every semester. I typically recommend that data be shared with parents every 9 weeks and that the data be sent with the progress report.What does communication look like?
This is the area that is the root of most of the problems and why families reach out to me. Communication is so important and can be the most impactful. As a parent, determine how you would like to be communicated with. Is it by email, phone, text? How often would you like to be communicated with? Be sure that a communication plan is written into the IEP. Having a solid plan allows for you and the school team to have little to no surprises.Who is responsible for each of the supports that my child receives?
This can often be a grey area. Define what each person’s role and responsibilities are. This way there is no confusion, and everyone is on the same page. Be sure to have it documented, in the IEP, the specifics.What do the services look like on a daily basis?
Your interpretation and understanding of what your child’s services look like on a daily basis can be different than what is actually happening. Find out where your child will be throughout his/her day. They could be in a variety of locations ranging from a general education classroom to a small group special education classroom, or even a 1:1 setting. It is ok to ask why a specific location was recommended.How can I support, at home?
It takes a team! There are strategies and tools that are used in school that can be implemented at home. You might ask why is this important…well the answer is simple. Consistency. Why reinvent the wheel?
If your child has a 504 Plan instead of an IEP, many of these questions are still important. A 504 plan documents accommodations instead of goals/objectives, but you should still ask how the accommodations will be monitored for effectiveness and who is responsible for implementing them. A 504 meeting may look a little different, but the goal is the same: ensuring your child gets the support they require.
Understanding 504 Plans
While Heather’s advice above focuses on IEPs, it’s important to note that some children will qualify for a 504 Plan and this is something she can help with as well!
A 504 Plan comes from Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and ensures that children with disabilities have the accommodations they need to access their education, even if they don’t require specialized instruction.
These accommodations might include:
Preferential seating
Extended time on tests or assignments
Sensory or movement breaks
Modified homework
Assistive technology
When I was younger, I had a 504 Plan myself and it gave me access to the tools I needed to be successful in school. While an IEP and a 504 Plan are different, both exist to remove barriers and give children the chance to thrive.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re preparing for your first IEP meeting or wondering if a 504 Plan might be the right fit, remember this: you are not just a guest at the table you belong there. Your insights, your concerns, and your questions are vital. You don’t have to know every acronym or process. You just have to show up, speak up, and trust that your voice carries weight.
Because at the end of the day, no one knows your child better than you do.
If you have an upcoming IEP or 504 meeting, Heather offers free 30-minute consultations to help families prepare and feel confident walking into the room. Visit her website (www.heatherwrightconsultant.com) to schedule a consultation or to download an editable Concerns Letter template.