Are You a Neuroaffirming Provider? Here’s How to Know.
If you’ve had a meeting with me—whether you’re a provider or a caregiver—you’ve most likely heard me use the phrase “neuroaffirming”... over and over and over again.
In today’s evolving landscape of care, neuroaffirming is a term you’re probably seeing everywhere—from social media to trainings to website taglines. But beyond the buzzword, what does it really mean to be a neuroaffirming provider?
Whether you're a speech therapist, BCBA, OT, psychologist, educator, or another professional working with neurodivergent children, being neuroaffirming isn’t just about saying the right things or displaying inclusive posters in your clinic. It’s about how you listen, how you plan, and how you respond—especially in moments of resistance, dysregulation, or uncertainty. It’s how and who you are. It’s your viewpoint, your lens, and how you interact with your client and beyond.
As a parent to an autistic child and someone who works directly with families navigating therapy, school, and provider relationships, I can tell you this: families know when a provider truly gets it. Neuroaffirming care is felt. It’s lived. And it matters more than ever.
In my personal and professional opinion, neurodiversity-affirming care must be individualized—because no two people experience the world in the same way. What’s affirming for one child might feel overwhelming to another. True neuroaffirming practice isn’t a checklist—it’s a mindset rooted in curiosity, flexibility, and deep respect for the unique way each person moves through the world.
👉 For a deeper dive into what this looks like in real life, check out my post on Neuroaffirming Care After an Autism Diagnosis.
But First—What Is Neurodivergence?
Neurodivergence refers to the natural variation in how people think, feel, process information, and experience the world. The term comes from the concept of neurodiversity, coined by sociologist Dr. Judy Singer, who introduced it in 1998 to describe the diversity of human brains and cognition.
While every brain is unique, being neurodivergent often refers to people whose ways of processing or responding fall outside what’s considered “typical.” This includes autism, ADHD, learning differences, intellectual disabilities, and more diagnostic categories outlined in the DSM‐5.
Some neurodivergent people identify as disabled. Others do not. Both perspectives are valid.
Although diagnostic frameworks often narrow the definition, Singer’s original vision was broader—encompassing anyone whose brain diverges from neurotypical norms, including those with mental health differences.
What “Neuroaffirming” Really Means
At its core, being neuroaffirming means honoring and respecting neurodivergence as a natural variation of the human brain—not something to be fixed or cured.
It’s about:
Respecting autonomy and communication in all its forms
Centering the lived experience of neurodivergent individuals
Recognizing that behaviors are communication, not defiance
Building trust before compliance
Seeing the child as a whole person—not just a diagnosis
👉 I share more about this philosophy in Autism Is Not the Problem—The Need to Fix It Is, one of my most personal posts to date.
Being neuroaffirming is not about being permissive or passive. It’s about being attuned, respectful, flexible, and collaborative.
My son with his speech therapist working on an AAC device
Kim Jenkins, founder of Empowered Speech Services here in Atlanta, shared, “Being neuroaffirming means honoring the unique ways autistic children communicate, connect, and experience the world—without trying to change who they are. As an SLP, I focus on supporting each child's strengths, needs, and sensory preferences instead of forcing neurotypical norms. I believe in partnering with families to create communication goals that celebrate identity, build autonomy, and promote genuine connection.” Check out Kim’s social media where she shares tips, education, and information on Gestalt language processing!
Can ABA be neurodiversity affirming?
Most people automatically believe that ABA is not neuroaffirming. And for a long time—that was often true. Sadly, in some cases, it still is. But many good providers are now working with a child’s brain instead of against it. And the really good ones? They follow the child’s lead, encourage variance in behavior and being, and collaborate with other providers to bring in different perspectives.
So, can ABA be neurodiversity-affirming? The answer is yes—but it requires deep reflection and intentional change.
My son on his graduation day at ABA with his BCBA and RBTs
A powerful 2024 article published in Behavior Analysis in Practice, "Affirming Neurodiversity Within Applied Behavior Analysis", explores how ABA must evolve in response to valid critiques from the autistic community. The authors argue that ABA is not inherently neurodiversity-affirming—but it can become so when practitioners shift away from compliance-driven models and toward practices rooted in autonomy, flexibility, and dignity.
Rather than focusing on normalization, the authors advocate for listening to autistic voices, setting collaborative goals, using identity-affirming language, and addressing ableist assumptions in treatment planning. As they write: “Rather than abandoning the field, we advocate for changing it from within by integrating neurodiversity-affirming practices.”
I can wholeheartedly say there are ABA providers out there who truly want their learners to succeed and in a way that is true to themselves. We have worked with a few personally as a family and there has not been a stop to stimming or scripting. Instead there has been acknowledgement that all forms of communication are communication and to understand him from a holestic standpoint. These providers have chosen to celebrate neurodiversity rather than to come from a space of ableism. If you're curious about stimming and what that means check out this blog post I wrote on why we don’t stop it and what we do instead.
👉 If you’re navigating ABA specifically, you may want to read Parenting with Purpose: A Neurodiversity-Affirming Approach to Advocacy, ABA Therapy & More.
Six Questions to Ask Yourself
If you’re wondering whether your practice is truly neuroaffirming, start here:
Do I view neurodivergence as something to accommodate—or something to change?
If your goal is to make a child appear “less autistic,” it’s time to rethink the approach.Do I prioritize connection over compliance?
Do I build safety and trust first—or do I expect a child to engage before they feel seen?Do I allow for multiple forms of communication—including AAC, echolalia, scripting, gestures, (singing in my son’s case) and silence?
Communication is more than words—and behavior is often the loudest form of communication.Am I willing to adapt my methods based on a child’s needs, not just what’s convenient or familiar?
Neuroaffirming providers are flexible, not formulaic.Do I invite caregiver collaboration and respect their lived experience—even when it challenges my clinical lens?
Families are the experts in their child. Neuroaffirming care requires true partnership.Am I open and eager to hear from other modalities to better serve my client? Understanding that one viewpoint can be limiting to the child’s growth.
Common Missteps with Good Intentions
Even providers with the best of intentions can unintentionally veer away from neuroaffirming practices. Some common pitfalls I see include:
Using sticker charts or token systems as tools of compliance rather than connection
Over-prioritizing eye contact, suppressing stimming, or pushing artificial social engagement (praising neurotypical behaviors)
Dismissing or pathologizing special interests instead of incorporating them
Using structured interventions like ABA without adapting them for the child’s unique needs—especially for gestalt language processors (GLPs)
Encouraging masking or assimilation rather than celebrating authentic self-expression
The good news? None of us have this all figured out. It’s not about perfection—it’s about presence, reflection, and a willingness to grow.
What Neuroaffirming Looks Like in Practice
Occupational therapy
Neuroaffirming care is deeply relational. It might look like:
Sitting on the floor with a child, letting them lead with their favorite character or song
Letting go of rigid session goals in favor of co-regulation and connection
Collaborating across disciplines to support a child holistically
Accepting and receiving parental feedback
Creating a visual schedule with a child, not just for them
Respecting a child’s need for movement, breaks, noise-canceling headphones, or stim toys
Asking, "What do you need right now?" instead of "We need to finish this first."
Neuroaffirming providers focus less on fixing and more on understanding. They show up with curiosity, not control.
👉 If you’re a parent, here’s what to look for in a provider:
5 Ways to Know If a Provider Is Truly Neuroaffirming
👉 If you’re a provider, in this article by, Neurodivergent Insights, shares that to be a true neurodiversity affirming provider one must not just offer support but actively acknowledge the hurdles and barriers faced by neurodivergent people. They also bring up the point that in order to create an actual neurodivergent affirming therapeutic space providers must be aware of their clients' more sensitive and less flexible nervous system. They list 8 different things you can do to accommodate their needs.
Why This Matters—for You, for Families, and for the Future
Neurodivergent children—and their families—are navigating a world that often misunderstands them. When they find a provider who affirms who they are and not just what they do, it changes everything.
Neuroaffirming care builds trust. It strengthens outcomes. And it leads to more meaningful progress—because it’s rooted in relationships, not just routine.
For you as a provider, committing to this path isn’t just about better outcomes—it’s about becoming part of a community that is actively reshaping what support should look like. It’s where the future of care is headed. And the more we reflect, adjust, and collaborate, the more impact we can have.
Ready to Deepen Your Neuroaffirming Practice?
Whether you're early in your journey or looking to refine what you already do, I’d love to support you. I offer case consults, workshops, and collaboration opportunities across disciplines—because when providers come together, we all get better.
Let’s keep learning, growing, and doing this work—together.
— Dr. Nikki Sammet